Who you surround yourself with matters
/The people you surround yourself with (and that includes who you follow on social media and the content you consume) have a significant impact on your view of the world, what you think is possible and what you expect of yourself.
And just as you benefit from being around people who challenge and support you, you’re impacted by those who are negative and think that suffering, rather than success, is what people like ‘you and them’ will ever experience.
In fact, research by social psychologist Dr David McClelland of Harvard University found that “the people you habitually associate with, determine as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.”
Despite being capable, the mindset you develop because of the people you associate with will be the strongest determining factor of your success.
The role of beliefs
Beliefs are statements we’ve heard and repeated to ourselves so often we treat them as facts. Spend time with people who constantly say things like life is unfair, life will always be hard, only a few lucky people will ever live well, and you’ll take on those beliefs too.
Without realising it, you adopt the limiting, disempowering beliefs of other people. (And remember, your success or failure in all 8 areas of life will be determined by that).
The good news is you don’t have to accept those beliefs. It’s possible to reset them and surrounding yourself with people whose beliefs are empowering and uplifting will make a positive difference.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
How to choose people to surround yourself with
The most successful people in the world attribute their success to a number of factors and who they surround themselves with is one of them.
But it’s not as easy as choosing people who always agree with you. The key is to be around people who (positively) challenge you to go beyond your comfort zone, to not settle for what is and who open you up to the possibility of what could be.
Being challenged isn’t ‘bad’. It might be uncomfortable but that’s a natural and normal part of the growth process. And if there’s no growth, there’s no (or limited) success.
Choose people who inspire and empower you to stretch, think bigger, and set new, higher standards for yourself.
“If you can surround yourself with people who will never let you settle for less than you can be, you have the greatest gift that anyone can hope for.” – Tony Robbins
Why fear could stop you (if you let it)
For some the idea of choosing who you surround yourself with will trigger all sorts of resistance. Inevitably, all will have fear at the root of them. Fear of upsetting a family member or friend. Fear of being alone. Fear of failure. Fear of criticism. Fear of being ostracised. Fear of… (insert your reason here).
The circle of people you’re in now are comfortable because they’re familiar. You know the people. You know what’s expected. You know what you need to do to fit in.
The question is… are you willing to settle for what’s comfortable when you know there’s more in you and there’s something more you want for your life?
You’re not the only one to feel fear, it’s something even the most successful of people experience. But as Dr John DeMartini says, “see fear as being ON the way, not IN the way.”
If you know the people you’re surrounding yourself with aren’t (positively) challenging and supporting you, are you going to stay where you are? Choosing comfort and familiarity despite knowing there’s more in you and that you want more.
Or, will you seek out people who inspire and empower you to be your real self and pursue the vision you have for living your life well?