Tis the season to be jolly - but is it for you?
/The lead up to Christmas can be a crazy busy time and as for the day itself, well, that can be next level stressful.
Getting through your work To Do list, sorting holiday plans, buying and wrapping presents, and preparing an Instagram-worthy Christmas feast is enough to make even the strongest of people worry.
Add to that concerns about whether you’ll get everything done, the pressure to get the ‘right’ gifts so you don't offend anyone, dealing with the financial strain of all the shopping and navigating family challenges, can mean Christmas is anything but a jolly time!
How to reduce the stress at Christmas
Coping better with Christmas is something that often comes up in client sessions. Smart, capable people, just like you, find Christmas incredibly stressful and feel trapped and unable to make any changes.
The good news is there will be changes you can make but first, you need to understand what’s going on for you.
5-step process to put the jolly back into Christmas
Use this simple, yet powerful process so you can gain greater clarity and feel more confident when it comes to making decisions about Christmas.
Step 1. Get clear about what causes you stress
Grab a pen and paper and write down the concerns you have about Christmas. Nothing is too small to be added to the list - if it concerns you, write it down. Be honest as you do this work, after all, this is about you enjoying Christmas more.
Step 2. Choose what you’d like to change
Thinking about how you’d like Christmas to be, choose one thing on your list that you’d like to change. It might be the thing that causes you the most stress or it could be something you think will be the easiest to change.
Step 3. Imagine how it will feel to enjoy Christmas
Using the power of your imagination, time travel out to Boxing Day. You’ve made the change and Christmas has been different, better this year. Describe what was different and how you felt. Be as specific as possible.
Step 4. Identify what will stop you from making the change
There’ll be a reason why you haven’t made the change (yet) and it’s important to understand what it is. Go deep with this one because it’s key to helping you successfully create the change you want now.
Step 5. Take purposeful action
Most people launch straight into action, any action, because as long as they’re doing something it must be good, right? Umm no. This is about taking purposeful action. Think about the change you want to make and decide on the first 3 small steps you need to take. Do those and then take another 3. Repeat.
What others did to take the stress out of Christmas
Christmas grocery shopping a nightmare? For some clients, shopping is done close to Christmas (sometimes the day before) and after a long day at work along with 100s of other people! Shopping under pressure typically means spending more and not always getting what they want.
✅ We start by talking about what’s going on and why they do it. And then look at options like shopping earlier, delegating it to someone else, shopping online and so on. The ‘best’ choice depends on the person but the results are often similar - they get the items they want and spend less money and time on shopping which makes Christmas more enjoyable.
Another common scenario is feeling pressure to spend a lot on presents. The cost of gifts adds up and Christmas can mean going into significant debt (which often doesn’t get paid off in full before the next Christmas rolls around).
✅ Get clear about what’s driving you to spend a lot and think about what’s important to you at Christmas. Set a realistic affordable budget, and then create some ‘rules’ about gifts (these can be fun - they don’t have to be serious and feel heavy). When you only spend what you know you can afford, Christmas can be less stressful plus you avoid the new year ‘budget’ hangover!
Going to events because you think you ‘should’? That can be a significant cause of stress! As with the other two examples, it’s important to understand why you believe you have to go. For a lot of people, saying “yes” means avoiding the risk of upsetting anyone and being labelled a Christmas grinch.
✅ I often work with introverts who tend to find large, noisy functions stressful. If that’s you, honour yourself and be selective about what events get a “yes”. There may be some resistance but imagine knowing that when you say “yes” you wholeheartedly mean it and you look forward to going.
You have the power to create positive change
Finally, stop dreading Christmas and wishing you could avoid it. Commit to creating positive change so you can put the jolly back into the festive season and actually enjoy it more.