Learn how to feel more confident making decisions
/How do you feel about making decisions? Are you confident? Does it depend on the decision? Or do you avoid them at all costs?!
Making decisions is a skill so that means it's something we can all get better at. And that's good news because the more competent we are, the more confident we feel about making decisions.
So, would learning how to make decisions (so you can feel more confident) be useful for you?
In case you answered “heck yes Tracey” or maybe a more reserved “that’d be good”, I thought I'd go ahead and share this insight about HOW you make decisions.
(If you’re doing the 12-month Live Well Programme with me, remember to explore the deep dive workbook dedicated to decision-making.)
Decision-making is a process
According to Wikipedia, decision-making is the process of identifying and choosing alternatives based on the values, preferences and beliefs of the decision-maker.
Yes, it’s a process.
It’s not random.
There’s actually a step-by-step process that happens and you might be surprised to know it often happens without you being consciously aware of what’s going on.
So just how does that happen? Good question!
Stored in your mind are a set of values, preferences and beliefs that operate just like a software programme or app on a computer.
When you've got a decision to make, your mind automatically runs the options through your programme and comes up with an answer. You might recognise this as a gut feeling or your intuition. It’s a knowingness about what the right answer is.
Can you think of a decision you made recently where you knew the answer straight away?
Well, that happened because of your programme. The answer wasn’t random and it didn't just drop into your lap. Your mind processed the options and made a choice based on your values, preferences and beliefs.
But not all decisions seem obvious or easy
And that can be frustrating and stressful, right? Because you want to live well but you don’t feel confident to make the best decisions for you.
Typically there are two reasons for decisions not being obvious or easy. One, the decision might require some research - it's when you need to know more about the options. And two, fear steps in.
Let's go straight to the fear.
The moment you hesitate and start thinking about all the what ifs, what others will say and do, and anything else that might worry you, the wheels start to come off. It’s like a great big STOP or WARNING sign looms down on you making the doubts, fears and worries seem even bigger and worse 😣
Those worries need to be written down so you can work through them. Because left in your mind, they're going to keep going around and around - and that's what causes the sleepless nights, sweating and grouchiness.
Think about a decision you need to make but you've been holding back because of some worries. Write those worries down and then imagine they’re all taken care of and then ask yourself what the best decision is for you to make.
If your mind wants to jump back to the worries, remind yourself that they're all taken care of. Your job at this moment right now is to simply tune in to what the best decision is for you.
Write that decision down. Now knowing what you want to do, decide what 3 actions you'll take immediately. They don't need to be epic-sized (although they might be if that's right for you) but please remember, small steps are perfect for creating change.
The best way to build confidence is to take what you learn and use it. So, if you've been putting a decision off, take a breath and use what you've just learnt.