Stop trying to control the uncontrollable (and do this instead)
/In life, there are things we can control and things we can’t. And learning to recognise which is which has the potential to be life-changing.
Because life feels really hard and super stressful when you’re trying to control the uncontrollable, right?
You can’t control the weather, the economy or what other people think, say and do
But that doesn’t stop us from trying!
Imagine a cup full of liquid – that liquid represents the amount of time and energy you have each day. That’s it. There’s no more today. I wonder how much of it you’re giving away to things you can’t control. For most people, it’s a lot more than they realise. You can’t change the weather, the economy or what other people think, say and do but those things (and more) are probably getting a whole heap of time and your energy.
So how about shifting your focus to what you can control?
You can control what you think, say and do, and how you feel
And I know it might not always seem like it because it’s as if your thoughts and feelings just happen by themselves! They pop up and do their own thing. That’s true to some extent - your thoughts and feelings do happen automatically but that’s just because they've become your default pattern.
The good news is if you want to switch things up and create a new pattern you can! You have that power - it is something you can control.
Imagine that...
Imagine using your power to consciously choose what you think, say and do, and how you feel.
I don’t know about you, but I just let out a great big sigh of relief (I need that reminder from time to time too!).
When you consciously choose what you give time and your energy to, you can be more responsive (and less reactive). Experience more ease (and less stress). Feel more focused (and less lost or overwhelmed). Sound good?
What are you trying to control that is uncontrollable?
Be sure to explore that question with loving-kindness. This isn't an opportunity to beat yourself up because here's the thing ... you’ve not intentionally been trying to control things.
We, you and I, want to feel safe. We want to know we’re okay, that we fit in and belong. And that's why we try to control things, situations and other people.
Trying to control the uncontrollable provides a false sense of safety.
So often we give time and our energy to what we can’t control and it’s exhausting and stressful, right? It also holds us back from living our life fully.
And the things we can control – like decisions about what we think, say and do, and how we feel – end up being pushed aside because we’re too tired, don’t have the energy and are so full of doubt, fears and worries.
This is your life to live well. Live it by design – focus on what you can control by consciously choosing your thoughts, what you do and say, and how you feel.
What are you trying to control that is uncontrollable and what really deserves time and your energy?