What are beliefs and how do they impact you?

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Often talked about but rarely understood well, beliefs shape your life. Every decision and choice is influenced by your beliefs. What you say yes and no to is determined by your beliefs. And it's happening for better or worse. But just what are beliefs and how can you change them if they’re not helpful?

Affirmation card - you are enough

What are beliefs?

Beliefs are statements that have been repeated so many times, they’re treated as facts. But they’re not facts – and that’s important to know. Beliefs are not facts.

“I’m not good enough” is a common example of a belief. The statement isn’t a fact, even though you could probably point to a lot of reasons to prove it’s true. But that’s just how your mind works. You see, when you have a belief, your mind looks for evidence to show you you’re right. The more times you see proof that you’re right, the belief is reinforced and becomes stronger.

Remember, beliefs are statements you’ve repeated so many times you believe them to be true.

How beliefs are formed

Beliefs start forming at a very young age. Children take in what goes on at home and school, in their community, and any organisations or groups the family is involved with like religions and sports teams. They learn about themselves and the world around them from what they see, hear and experience. And while a child won’t be thinking “oh let me lock that in as a belief”, they will attach meaning to things that happen, and that meaning becomes a belief.

Imagine a child that constantly hears they’re in the way, too loud, and always causing their parents/caregivers trouble, it’s likely they’ll form beliefs like:

  • I’m a nuisance and should just stay out of the way

  • I’m too loud and need to be quiet

  • I have to be quiet to be loved

  • I’m always causing trouble and upsetting the people who love me

  • Nothing I do is good enough, I’m bad

Similarly, if a child hears they’re appreciated, feels listened to when they’re upset. and are encouraged to share an opinion, they might form beliefs like:

  • I am loved for who I am

  • It is okay/safe to be me

  • My feelings matter and I can talk about them

  • My opinion matters

  • It’s okay to say what I think

Now, of course, forming beliefs doesn’t stop when you’re no longer a child. You continue to develop beliefs throughout your life but there’s one key difference once you’re an adult. Children aren’t aware of what beliefs are and how they’re formed, or that they can choose their own beliefs, but as an adult, you have the opportunity to learn about this and understand your power to choose.

How to recognise a belief

A belief expresses your view, opinion, attitude, or perspective about something, including yourself. It’s your way of thinking about and looking at the world and making sense of it. In every interaction, through what you do and say, you’re demonstrating what you believe to be true.

When it comes to recognising a belief, look and listen for these common statement starters:

  • I can’t / I can

  • I’m not / I am

  • I can’t / I can

  • I never

  • I always

Just reading that list, you’ve probably already started to recognise some of your own beliefs.

Power to choose your beliefs

It’s common to think that beliefs are locked in for life BUT that’s simply not the case. You have the power to choose your beliefs – because remember they’re statements that have been repeated so often you believe them to be true. So, if you’ve got a belief that’s not helping you, you can choose to let it go.

But how? Choose what you want to believe instead.

To help you understand more about your own beliefs and to create new ones, use these 5 steps. As you do this important mindset work, do it with curiosity and kindness. Beating yourself up or blaming others for any unhelpful beliefs you have, won’t be helpful.

5 steps to identify your beliefs and create new helpful beliefs

Step 1. Choose an area to focus on
You have a lot of beliefs and the best way to identify them is to choose a specific area to focus on. It might be one of the 8 elements that make up your whole life, a goal, or something you want to prioritise.

Step 2. Write down your beliefs
Once you've identified an area, grab your journal or a book and write down all the beliefs that come to mind.

Step 3. Categorise each belief
Looking at the beliefs you wrote down, identify which ones are helpful and which ones aren't. Remember to do this work with kindness and curiosity. Beating yourself up about unhelpful beliefs isn't helpful!

Step 4. Decide which beliefs you want to keep
All beliefs take up valuable space in your mind and it's up to you to decide which ones you keep. I know this will sound obvious, but if a belief is helpful, it makes sense for it to stay, right. And if a belief isn't helpful, will you let it stay? It's up to you.

Step 5. Create new helpful beliefs
To create a new belief simply decide what you want to believe instead. Think about a statement you'll start repeating often so it embeds as a new belief. For example, if you believe you’ll never be able to create a change in your life, you might create a new belief like - “I can create change in my life”. If that feels unrealistic then maybe change it to - “I can create change in my life and I’ll start with small changes”.

You have the power to choose what you believe, why not choose beliefs that are helpful so you can live well now.