Being you when you’ve been told “you’re too much”

Have you ever held back from showing up as your real self?

I'm confident your answer will be YES. And I'm also picking you did that because someone, at some stage in your life, said...

"You're too much!"

Maybe they didn't use those exact words, but the intention was the same.

But should we take that on board what they say and change who we are? 

Because the truth is, we'll always be *too much* for some people. No matter what we say or do, there'll be people who feel irritated or challenged by us.

Now let me be clear. If someone is being rude, offensive or putting themselves or others in danger, then that's not okay. In that situation I think it's reasonable to say they're being too much and to ask them to stop, or for you to walk away.

When I'm talking about people saying you're too much, I mean in regard to how you talk or laugh, the clothes you wear, the colour or style of your hair, your friendliness, your passion for a particular hobby or interest, your energy, your desire to be successful, the dreams you have and so on.

No one is YOUer than YOU!

Thanks for that wisdom Dr Seuss. And he's right. There's no one like you. But in response to what others say, we push aside the truth of who we are and try to fit into a box defined by them.

Trying to be someone you're not, is a sure-fire way to create a state of inner tension that makes it hard to feel grounded, confident or strong. You'll second-guess what you say or do and feel unsure about who you are. That's going to lead to a whole heap of frustration, disappointment and unnecessary stress. Trust me, I know first-hand!

The times in my life when I've been most stressed have ALL had one thing in common. I've been out of alignment with who I really am. 

When we're doubting ourselves, everything will be harder. But compare that to when you show up as you and live in alignment with your highest values. It's then that you feel in-flow and at peace.

See yourself (and others) as being whole, complete and perfect

No more comparing and tearing each other down for being too much. Instead, accept yourself and others for who we really are.

Yes, there'll be times when we need to moderate how we show up. I love to have a good hearty laugh but I wouldn't show up laughing at a solemn event like a funeral! But and this is an important distinction, choosing to shut or tone down a part of ourselves in response to what someone else has said, is denying the truth of who we are.

If someone says "you're too much" explore it. Have you said something or behaved in a way that was inappropriate? Do you need to own that and apologise for it? Or are they reacting to something about you that they don't like, something that's triggered them?

Being out of alignment with your real self will make life harder than it needs to be and create a heap of unnecessary stress. And I'm sure you don't want that for your life.

What parts of you have you shut or toned down because someone told you you're too much? And can you let a little more of the real you shine through today?

Go ahead and give yourself permission to be your real self.

Go well,

- Tracey

Hey there, I’m Tracey, a life coach based in Te Awamutu, a small town in the Waikato region of New Zealand. I teach gentle souls practical tools and mindset strategies to consciously create their life. And not just any life! A life aligned with who they are and what they truly value. Because life is for living well now, right.

Keen to dive deeper into what you want for your life? I’ve got you covered! Jump on over here to grab the Your Whole Life course. In it, you’ll learn the 8 core elements that make-up “life”.